Tomorrow starts today…

“No matter what the odds are, Focus, Determination and Passion will get you through the storm because at the end of all storms are blue skies and calm waters.

If you have hit a wall then climb over it or break it down because if you do nothing then you will be staring at the wall for the rest of your life – and you never know, the wall may fall on you cutting your life short

these obstacles should be treated as a gift from fate which should spur us to improve, learn and make us stronger. Allowing obstacles to consume us does nothing for life.” -Danny Choo(japanese, tokyo blogger/and web designer…and other amazing things :3.)

^^and contributing to the last lines of the quote is…

“Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own mind.”

So therefore i should not allow so called “fate” hold me back, my head playing tricks on me telling me to follow through on my goals/ambitions(or whatever you want to call it). i use to be full of hesitation and still kinda am. Full of hesitation, not sure about tomorrow, and only did what i could do today. but now i hope it all changes. cause my tomorrow is today. i always wonder what or how “great” people went through, or got through the tough times. or when people actually realize what their goals are in life. or what they felt like when they found out what their passion is. or if they even had that hardship, that doubtful feeling. The hesitant thing they got through….
Honestly i’m scared. i don’t know what to expect, and i’m having doubts, on if i can even make it, or even accomplish have of what i want to get done.
I can’t stop the inevitable. the hardships, the really tough, and doubtful times ahead. Nerve racking. Makes my stomach uneasy. I can only manage what i can do today, un-certain about the future, hesitant– Again.
My own self-doubt it holding me back.
It seems, about every time about this part of the year i give up on something. for some reason that’s beyond me, i just simply “give up”?! and i don’t know why…like wtf. i’m just realizing this…*sigh* ugh, and i think it’s time to break that cycle.
I am a “Prisoner” of my own mind…ever watch that movie with Jason Statham? Revolver? kinda like that, the self-doubting you, who hides in the last place you’ll ever look… i wonder where i hide?

(Edit 03.05.10) i wrote the first bit before i started working up here (northern AB) in the oil sands.
even though i had all that self-doubt, and uneasiness about me. I still went through with this, even though it was really, really difficult to even start, so i thought if i couldn’t even start, how could i even maintain it? but after all that hardships, and i guess BS(bull-Sh*t) i still came up here. And to achieve a goal.
It’s really tough being far from home, but i need to get use to it. if i want to travel and whatnot. I feel alot of lonely nights ahead of me.
*SIGH* i’m also really frustrated with not completely getting all the scaffolding signals, materials, and whatnot. i need some source of study, but the internet has sh*t all about stuff like this. I also feel alot of difficulties with working with other people above me, and the more experienced workers :/
i want to show pictures of where i work, but it strictly prohibited to take photos. cuase of obvious reasons. (FYI the environment).