My life so far. . . 2012.

I don’t know what it is, or whats going on in my life. I’m rather bored, and quite mad at the world. Where my life is currently at the moment.

I work a shit ton, cause I want certain things in life. I haven’t done much blogging, and haven’t done much reading. I missed Christmas and New Years with the family cause I was working. With the extra cash I made ended up wasting it on nothing. In one weekend it was pretty much gone, and the things I’ve promised my little brother and sister I didn’t get to do.

In 2012, I want to change, alot. I mean over the years I’ve changed little by little. my way of thinking has changed drastically since awhile ago, that’s why I started to write my thoughts. Now that I’ve changed, I’ve slowly steered back into my old way of thinking. Always being mad at the world, and myself. Being single, being alone (not like single alone, but like literally alone.) Always working, no time for anything. No time for life’s little luxuries, in which you indulge in on your time off.

No one understands what it’s like to do what I do. Maybe I’m just a head case, and think it’s really difficult when it’s actually not. But let’s see you try come up here make pretty decent amount of money, but being away from home and family a lot, and almost little to no time off. I say little to no time, cause sometimes you spend way too much on your days off, just cause you miss those little things you don’t get in a everyday normal life, and end up not wanting to go back just to save money, but indulge again and too much.

I like what I was doing or perhaps I just didn’t care but up to the point where I started to steer off, cause again. The world just kept me down. In 2009, I made up my mine on what I wanted to do career wise. In 2010, I had a taste of what I could and should be doing. But time and money is everything in this world. And neither are on my side. I’m 22 going on 23 and I’m stuck once again.

It’s always around this time, like i’ve mention in other blogs. That this time around I always change something, or quite something. Not that it’s the whole new years thing, but maybe the earths gravity, or something to do with the changing of the seasons, I Don’t Know. Something always happens around this time. Anyways. . .

My 1st mistake of 2012, I hope it makes me a better man, in which I will continue to move forward, and try to do things differently. Change my way of thinking once again. Write more, blog more, see the ones I love more.

I also have to stop that way of thinking that the world owes me something for me being away from home and experience so many lonely nights, and pain of being gone all the time. But it’s me who choose’s to feel and experience these. A necessary sacrifice so my family could live a little better. But you sometimes have to be a little selfish just to be sane, in which I was indulging in too much these past months. I think being away from home for the holidays (my 1st time every being pretty much alone on those special times) and coming back home, feeling like you’ve missed something, and finally realizing what’s truly important. Family.


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