The days of not seeing her…

ok so it seems like i’m blessed with either or.. like for instance, when i was broke i had this girl, not necessarily a “GF” but she was there. and it was all i needed. was her presence. and now that i’m working. and never around, it’s like i got no one. I make ridiculous money (exaggerate much). haha ok i make enough money. and i try to get girls to come out with me. and nothing seems to work. and i’ve only been working for almost 3 months. no matter what amount of money i spend i can only buy the illusion of love. the illusion of her presence. and fuck it, i don’t care. whatever keeps me sane. i tried taking this girl out before i left, we went out to drink, and that was it. it was cool, you know just her there. then i tried to, you know go out for coffee or shopping with her the day before i leave for work up here. she couldn’t make it. so you know. i’m done trying to chase woman. i mean all i do is work for my family, to try and travel, and to pay for school in vancouver. but it’s a fucken lonely path. and i go mad. “the days of waiting for her, will drive me mad. But when i do see her…i go madder still”

Honestly that’s how it will be, and is going to be for a long time.
it makes me wonder how single guys live up here.. i drove back with some friends (back to edm on our days off) and there single guys. you know obviously they party and whatnot. and these guys are like talking about getting escorts and hotels( all that rock star life shit) i wasn’t down with all that, i mean i had the money. have the money. but i was looking for the regular way of finding decent woman. going out or talking to friends of friends. and honestly this hasn’t worked for a long time. so you know what maybe i should do what they do, i only got 4days off after my 24 straight days up here. it’s not like i have the time to go looking for someone, and to sweet talk them, and make something out of it. i just don’t have the time. i mean i have to see family i have to rest, i have to do a lot. recover. might as well buy the illusion of love. that’s all it has been for a long time….

i will search this world for her. though i do not know her, but am determined to find her.

i use to be the waiting loyal dog. you know to that one girl, who made such an impression, and lead you in. then left you a stray. waiting at that “1 year station”(g-dragon song reference). and i have waited for a long time. but, i was done waiting. now i’m trying to make things happen, i just hope i’m making progress.

Some people go their whole lives without experiencing love. (i hope i’m not one of them).
Some people don’t really care for looking for this, and somehow stumble upon it. (i envy this).
Some people go their whole lives experienced it once, and they go mad trying to find it again. (i am this).


Digital Design….

Ok, so this whole blog is..well was basically me trying to get to Japan or Korea. But i feel like i should explore more fields than just Asian. but rather than what i am inspiring to do, and that’s well uh basically what the title of this post says. And also explore the fields of photography, ever since high school i wanted to do photography. I was always an artist(?) well my mother always said, and people always told me that i was good at drawing. And so, art is what i want to go into. In all fields of art wether it be photo, or digital design, or video game design, and even Animation. So with the job i am getting i got to also save up for that. which is going to be very difficult. but impossible is nothing, or it can’t be done, if i have two feet and a brain 😛 it shall be done. I’m only trying to do what i want to do, and be where i want to be. Anywhere but here…

ps. i totally forgot to add where it is that i want to enrol in, The Vancouver film school. not only does it have film but all the form of “arts”. acting, television media, and whatever. all that stuff.

-late night post/to early to even be up post :/

Anew (+figures +photo +update +Kpop)

G’ Morning, hope your enjoying your java i know i am.(even though i started this post at 10 this morn and finished at about 12ish close to 1)

img_8257Today: 11.10.09 time: 10:20


i have so much energy out of no where today. i feel like i could do something new so today i am going to do a ridiculously large post this morning :3

for i’m bored and i’m home alone, need to keep my mind occupied, and do something inside because i’m still trying to beat this little cold. but anyways for the past i guess week and weekend?!? i think, i have doing alot of thinking. about friends and where my career(?) is going. let’s say my life. a couple of friends have been really holding me back to where i want to go in life. It was no good being caught in a loop, every weekend, money being wasted, precious time i could’ve used. To help me move forward. but nevertheless i’ve learned so there for i do not regret it(or at least try not to).

I also have been studying my camera(a little :/ ). started to read the manuel lol. which helped….a lot 😀 and also reading another book called the D5000 digital field guide. So I can unlock way more features I thought i never had in the D5000. I payed for this expensive piece of crap might as well unlock it’s full features, considering I’m an amateur photographer.

What has also been on my “list to read” are Seoul the city guide just for kicks. Tokyo the city guide. and two language learning books…and you’ve guessed it, Korean and Japanese :3 I often don’t read chapter, fictional, sci-fi, Twilight-type books nor manga for that matter. I’ve tried to like manga, but i get bored. Watching anime is much more fun(er).

Anyways moving on….

I would like to post a few figure picture taking i did of my only figure(s). Rei ayanami of Neon Genesis Evangelion! one of my favourite  anime characters. probably because she’s small and petite 🙂 and very quiet(like me!)

Pantsu peek :3

More Pantsu Peek ;D

experimenting with the lights out :3


Oh and here’s a little ling to a song i cannot get enough of!!! Been really lovin’ K Pop music. *ever notice how they(4minute) always count to like 4 in their songs? lol.

4minute – What a girl wants